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Monday, 24 October 2011

Hello You...

Hello you... it's been a long time, how are you?
Me?  Yes I am great, I have achieved many a great thing since... you know...
And yourself? Ah well, that is good news...

She deceives me...

Ah but don't we both lie to eachother?  
I know you...
There is a reason we tell so many lies you and I, oh please don't deny it
We create this web of deceit around ourselves, not so that we may be envied by everyone,
no, that would be far too... grandiose...
We do this so that they will hear us Love us
Because under it all, we are the same you and I.
So don't tell me how great things are, there is only one reason you have travelled so far to be here, with me, tonight... to be with me
To be with someone...

How do I know these things? Well in truth I am revealing no more about you than you could reveal about me, we both have the curse, the thirst, The compulsion to be observed, needed and desired.
Ahhh yes, I see the mask falling now... let me see into your eyes
Into your soul...

Yes... we understand eachother now.  Your weakness is my weakness.
Your desires, my desires.
Your curse, My curse...

The same reason that you are here, seeking company out, is the same reason I am here, letting it in
After everything we went through
After everything you did...

I cannot escape you, we are bad for eachother, and for those around us,
Like two black holes colliding, we do not cure eachothers insatiable need, but instead clash and combine to form a universe of despair.
And yet the pull is irresistible, for no force is stronger than loneliness

So come in, let us pass the time once more like before, let us slide into to oblivion once again
Drag me to hell, just so I am not alone
Let's not worry about tomorrow, we know it will hurt, but tonight... tonight we are forever  


  1. Haunting, although "I cannot escape you" is not exactly accurate in my case is it? :)

  2. Dear Lavidius
    Your thoughts and poetry are inspiring and thoughtful. Masks are an interesting facet of human psychology. Part defence, part hideaway, or confidence booster, we all create masks to hide behind. Even a woman's simple impulse to make up her face is something like donning a mask. There is the oblivion you describe, but equally being alone is another type of oblivion.
    Your choice of images is startling and eerily beautiful.

    Go well, young Lavidius.

  3. Dear Anonymous,

    Thankyou for returning, once again your insight astounds me and your words comfort. It is warming to know you're out there somewhere.


  4. Dear Lavidius,

    I am hoping that your recent silence is because things are going well for you. I really mean it . It is totally forgivable to go quiet when the world treats you well, so do not consider this any kind of reproach.

    Your post is very interesting (I am coming back to it for the 3rd time) and it calls to mind so many of the contradictions of the human psyche.... It has kept me thinking.

    I mentioned how masks can have different meanings, and it strikes me know that even though a mask is something to hide behind, it does not necessarily mean there is any dishonesty afoot. Fear is an honest emotion, isn't it?

    Similarly, the longing to be accepted is again not dishonest. If we could be accepted for who we are and could be confident of not being rejected, there would be far fewer people who would project any kind of facade for the sake of acceptance. But people today are impatient, intolerant and much too influenced by notions of glamour, fashion and showy acceptability. It has made life for the ordinary person much too hard. We have to try to reach an impossible ideal to please others who have little chance of attaining the same ideal. How crazy is our modern society?!

    Keep thinking, keep creating, keep searching for meaning. You will make much of yourself.

    Go well,
    Your first Anonymous.

    I think that

  5. Anon,

    for a few days yes, things were going well, however I fear my reluctance to post has been some of the "real world" ramifications of writing this nature of material.

    People I know and love are wanting to talk to me face to face about these things, and I am not ready for that. I find myself fearing what I am to write next should the wrong person come across it.

    Regardless I have updated my blog today, a short entry, but hopefully I feel, still full of meaning.

    I fear I am one of those impatient people you speak of, were I not I would just wait for someone to enter my life and make me happy, rather than tearing myself apart searching for her?

    Anyway, thankyou again for coming to express yourself here, the door is always open, and I am always listening